You Want to Show Me What?
(All names have been changed, even if remembered, as this scene happened about 11 years ago.)
Mothers of the bride come in all shapes and forms. One of the most memorable mother’s of the bride was a woman named Mrs. E. Mrs. E was quite the character. She had spiky gray hair, a short stocky build, and an effervescent personality. She would come in to make payments on her daughter’s dress and flip out an accordion wallet full of credit cards. Invariably, the card she chose would decline. Mrs. E would then spend the next 10-15 minutes on her cell phone paying down one credit card with another so she could make a $50 payment. Mrs. E also requested that we track each payment so she could determine what she was paying on the account as well as what her ex-husband was paying. A lot of the payments were by check or cash, and at that time our computer system and credit card payments did not interface, so there was no way for us to know how much was paid by whom. She was disappointed that we could not track this for her. On her daughter’s fitting day, Mrs. E came up to the front counter and said to Annette, “Let me show you something,” while reaching into her shirt. Annette had a flash of surprise and concern all at once! Mrs. E requested a tissue as she reached into her bra. Annette was visualizing the worst: she was frightened that Mrs. E would be flinging her breast out on the front counter. Instead, Mrs. E proceeded to bring a sugar glider out of her bra. The sugar glider was angry at having been disturbed from its nap, and promptly urinated on the counter, hence the need for the tissue. Annette then noticed that Mrs. E’s shirt was far from clean, so she asked, “What happens when he needs to go potty?” Mrs. E replied, “He just goes.” I’m sure the look on Annette’s face must have been priceless. Apparently, not only one sugar glider but two lived in the woman’s bra during daylight hours. Mrs. E then explained that the sugar gliders are nocturnal, and had free reign in her spare bedroom at home at night. She also explained that the male sugar glider had bonded to her, and also urinated when he saw her husband. Mrs. E placed the sugar glider back into her bra. Movement could be seen beneath her shirt, circling inside her bra as the creature settled in for the rest of its nap. Small bulges were now apparent beneath her armpits that hadn’t been noticed in passing. Sugar gliders were a fad that year: we had a bride that owned one that brought it to her fitting. At least she carried her sugar glider in a pouch!
© Stacy Van Dusen/Fantasy Bridal, “Scenes from the Fitting Room and Beyond”, 2015]. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Stacy Van Dusen and “Scenes from the Fitting Room and Beyond” with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.